Where is the Calgon?!?

I am blessed in many ways.  Too many to count.
One of the reasons I am such a lucky girl, is the fact that I have a hard-working husband, which allows me the opportunity to stay at home with my children (which is easiest job in the whole world....GAG!).

My *BFF*,  *bestie*,  *practical sister*, lives in the midwest with her husband and 2 sons.   They have a vacation home at the beach, 3 hours from our house.  Since their kids are on a traditional school calendar, they are able to spend the summer on the coast.  Which, in turn, gives me a great place to escape the mundane, when I'm ready to crucify my children.  And also allows us to spend time together (and drink together), and the kids to bond and create memories (and come up with new ways to drive us over the edge).

So, here we are, for the third week this month.  No hubbies.  Just us moms, and 4 kids.  Psychotic, over-tired, over-stimulated, sassy, attention-seeking, over-sunned kids.  Under the age of 7.  We are completely out-numbered.  And severely alcohol-deprived.  (And that's mostly because there is barely enough time to take a breath, or a pee, let alone pop the cork on a wine bottle)

Anyway, yesterday we decide to venture to the beach.  With a heat index of 110.  Two adults, four kids.  A beach cart with 300 lbs. of paraphernalia attached to it.  And a pop-up-tent (which it turns out was missing KEY PIECES OF EQUIPMENT in order to actually function.  However, I'm sure the two of us doing our best to set it up anyway, all while screaming at children to stay the hell out of the ocean, provided comical relief to everyone.  You're welcome).

So, how did the day proceed??  Completely sober, somewhat-medicated mommies, attempting to set up a tent with only 3 functioning legs, on a busy beach, after dragging all necessary supplies 1 mile through the hot sand until we actually found  enough space to set up camp.  Lots of profanity.  Lots of whining (by ALL involved).

It ended quite similarly, except THIS time, all four miniature humans were crying.  And tired.  And hot.  Mommies were dripping in sweat.  And highly irritated.  Strangers stared as 'Baby Girl' refused to walk, but mommy couldn't pick her up because she was too busy dragging the monstrosity of beach crap on a 2-wheeler.

Nobody wanted to shower off the sand from their sunburned bodies.  Nobody wanted to assist by carrying even a flippin' towel!  We were all almost backed over/into by some jackass in an F150  (whom I'm certain was NOT sober).......

You'd think after a few days of all this activity, my children would at least sleep well through the night.

HA HA HA !!!!!!!!!!!!


Excuse me while I vomit in my mouth for a minute.  These are MY kids we're talking about.  They were born immune to sleep.


But....we'll be back next week to do it  ALL.  OVER.  AGAIN.


Somebody please smack me upside the head.