I know there will come a day when.........

1.  I don't have to raise my voice 37 times in a 12 hour period.  Or, have to repeat the same statement......... "I said no!"..... 8 times, just to get the point across.

2.  I won't have to say things like "put the dead grasshopper down!"  OR "stop trying to feed your sister the dead grasshopper!!"

3.  Blood, sweat & tears will not be a part of my every day existence.

4.  A shower will last longer than 45 seconds...................and will actually occur daily.

5.  I will be able to exit a room, where my 2 children remain, and World War III will not break out.

6.  The only body orifice, or excrement, I will have to wipe, will be my OWN.

7.  Grocery shopping will not involve strapping anyone into a straight jacket, or preventing anyone from hurling themselves out of the shopping cart, all while trying to "coupon".

8.  I will once again use a razor, tweezers, and nail polish...........on a regular basis.

9.  I will cut up my "mom jeans" and elastic waistband pants and use them to light the fire pit ........(OK, maybe NOT the elastic waistbands.  Those are pretty comfortable)

10.  I will not live in fear of random, public humiliation.  At least, not on a daily basis.

11.  I will not  recite "Brown Bear, Brown Bear" and "Goodnight Moon" in my sleep.




And, if you are a mother with older , or grown, children, laughing to yourself because you know most of these things will never be a reality... .............please, just let me live in my delusions of grandeur.  Your cooperation is appreciated.