Someday.....

So, this post is more of an "additive" to a smaller version I wrote some time ago.  In it's entirety, it was also featured on The Mom Blog Network!  My first *taste of fame*.  However fleeting.

If you are a close follower, please forgive the initial repeat!!  I thought I had posted this in full length version, but, alas, not.  Kind of like my life.  Thoughts only occur in snippets.  I blame that damn mommy brain !!

…..when my children have a home of their own, I’m going to visit them.  Frequently.  I’m going to put strange objects in the toilets, use Sharpies to decorate their walls, cry and whine if they get on an important phone call (maybe even try to climb up their leg).  I may even run around naked and pee on their floor (carpeted, preferably).

…..when my children are old enough to cook, I’m going to ask them to make me dinner.  Without saying “please”.  I’m going to tell them I want macaroni and cheese, and when that is prepared and ready to eat, I’m going to tell them I don’t want macaroni and cheese anymore.  I would like a hot dog instead.  And when they prepare that hot dog, I’m going to tell them I’m not hungry anymore.

…..when my children are able to make fun of my taste in music, I’m going to force them to re-listen to the Wiggles, Hannah Montana, and the Fresh Beat Band.  Then I’m going to put in an Elmo DVD, and put it on “repeat”.

…..when my children are old enough to have a job, I’m going to make them sign every last penny over to me.  I’m going to tell them it is payback for every toy I ever bought them that they “had to have”, but never played with; for every trip to the doctor for injuries that were self-inflicted; for every bottle of wine and prescription of Xanax mommy needed.

…..when my children are old enough to drive, I'm going to sit in the backseat and kick the driver’s seat.  Repeatedly.  I’m going to throw cheerios and crackers at them, scream, yell and complain.  I’m going to use my most annoying tone of voice to say things like, "are we there yet??", "I'm hungry!!" and "I have to go to the bathroom!".

It's going to be great.