I don't consider myself an overly-emotional person (I refer to it as "prone to psychotic outbursts"). I generally have something to say about every situation. I don't normally get tongue-tied.
However, when my 6 year old comes home from school and asks why his new friend "Joe" has to wear a face mask all day because he has Leukemia (and his interpretation of this word took some time to decipher), well, folks, that's when I lose it. I crumble.
It breaks my heart into pieces to not only know there are families who have to watch their young children fight horrible diseases, but to also know that my own children have to be exposed to this kind of shit so young.
I watched a dear friend of mine in high school pass away due to Leukemia. Literally. I was standing right next to him, in his hospital room, when he took his last breath. I stood by my mother's side for the last 2 weeks of her life. I was standing right next to her, in her hospital room, when she took her last breath.
Those are images I will never forget. Ever.
The last thing I want to think about is anyone having to go through that, let alone my own babies. And any situation like this just brings back unresolved emotional problems of my own (I could so give Dr. Phil enough crap for two or four or eight shows).
However, I believe in complete honesty. Little Man is an extremely sensitive, caring, young boy. It would never occur to him to treat anyone any differently for any reason. I didn't want to scare him, but I wanted to be totally truthful.
So.....I told Little Man that mommy needed some alone time (with a bottle of vodka) to collect my thoughts and be able to put them into words that he would understand. Perhaps I was a tad bit too forthcoming (I'm definitely NO child psychologist) And if there is a handbook out there on how to deal with these types of situations, somebody please send it to me!!!!!
(Until then....I'll happily accept pills and bottles of wine)
Ugh. The tears. Make them go away.
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