I fully advocate the use of prescription medication or alcohol for all mothers, without question or fear of judgement, for any or all of the following reasons… (Note: author does not condone the use of recreational drugs)
1. you can no longer use the excuse “baby weight”, because your “baby” is in 6th grade
2. the 8 cups of coffee you have every morning for survival no longer have the same desired affect
3. you have family or in-laws visiting
4. you are a stay-at-home mom, or a working mom
5. you realize it may be years before you actually get to shower or use the bathroom without an audience
6. you find yourself wearing sweatpants and your husbands old t-shirts on a daily basis
7. you can’t remember the last time you brushed your teeth or washed your hair
8. your idea of a homemade meal is a frozen pizza that you added extra cheese and vegetables to
9. you feel like every cough, sneeze, and runny nose MUST be that rare disease you heard about on Dateline
10. the nurse at your pediatricians office is now one of your closest friends because you talk to HER more than your friends & family combined
11. Facebook has become your only connection to the outside world
12. you find yourself singing along to the Imagination Movers in the car, except….you are alone
and finally…..
13. your baby/child is experiencing any of the following: colic, teething, any form of sickness, reflux, crawling, learning to walk, biting, learning to talk, learning to talk back, potty training (which may actually require a temporary increase in dosage), starting school, learning how to drive, going on their first date, leaving for college....
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