Friday, September 23, 2011

P.T.S.D.

.....from exercise.  And YES, I truly and firmly believe this is possible.  Maybe not in everyone's case, but certainly in mine.

Mostly because I'm out of shape, overweight and completely lack stamina.  I eat too much, drink too much and find new and creative ways to talk myself out of physical  labor  activity.

It's all right now, though.  Because after months of  promising sexual favors beseeching to my husband, he finally agreed to join a gym.  Since my body is allergic to any form of food or wine deprivation, I have consorted to working out.  Every day.  For 2 hours.

And you know it's time to get your ass back into shape, when your muffin top accidentally bumps the emergency stop button while "jogging" on the treadmill.  Oh yeah.  No joke.  Go ahead, laugh amongst yourselves.

And when the more "seasoned" women in your aerobics class are able to keep up, while you're silently praying for sudden death.

And when you lose all feeling in your extremities for hours after taking Body Combat.

(Just keepin' it real, people)

But the cherry on top of the ice cream is this.........I get to dump drop my children off at the childcare for TWO.  WHOLE.  HOURS!!!!  And they love it.  They look forward to going!  They motivate me even on the days I feel like if I exert myself in any way my hamstring muscles might actually detach from my femur.

It's a WINE/WINE........I mean a WIN/WIN.

(See where my head is at??)

4 comments:

  1. Body combat was invented by the devil!!! I did that shit once!!!!! Never again!!!

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  2. I suggest you cannot have wine unless you keep your exercise promises. worked for me.

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  3. So funny!!! How did those sexual favors promises work out?

    And super cute blog. Love your chosen quotes.

    Visiting through WOE weekend link.
    www.thelazyw.blogspot.com

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  4. I've yet to start. I'm weighing 5 lbs less then I did when I had my first son almost 8 years ago! Help keep me motivated!

    XOXO

    The Brainless Housewife :P

    ReplyDelete