Friday, October 14, 2011

Let Me Explain.......

So far, I absolutely ABHOR fall.  And normally, this is my favorite time of year.  The temperature cools down, the leaves start to turn shades of amber and orange, it's time for pumpkin lattes and spiced apple scented candles.

But in this household, I've learned to expect the worst, and be pleasantly surprised when IF shit doesn't hit the fan.  And, boy, the shit has hit the fan.......and the fan was on "HIGH" and spread the shit all over the room.

1.  My 6 year old breaks his arm.  He narrowly avoids needing to have surgery to set the bones back in place.  He still remains in a cast and will most likely require one until at least Thanksgiving  (wtf??!).  We've received the bill from the emergency room visit so far......goodbye savings account and college education fund.

2.  My 2 year old was scheduled for upper and lower endoscopies.  We've been through this before.  She has an auto-immune disorder that greatly affects her stomach (and by *greatly*, I mean chronic diarrhea.  And by *chronic* I mean multiple times a day).  It also causes her to pick up every germ in the free world (she battled Salmonella for 3 months this time last year).  So, as bad luck would have it, she came down with an upper respiratory infection, required antibiotics, thus cancelling out the scheduled procedure.  We now have to wait another 4 weeks, and pray that she will be healthy by the next appointment.  Things could be worse, I know.  But cleaning up shit explosions daily is not my idea of 'fun' - especially when it happens publicly.

3.  Our shower door literally fell off of it's hinges.....then the hinges followed.....while I was actually standing in the shower.  Now, our house is only 3 years old.  We've wanted to redo the master bath since day 35 of living here.  The builder did a crappy job of designing this particular bathroom, and because of this stupidity in design, I'm forced to clean mold from the shower several times a week (think *no ventilation*).  I think the bleach eroded the caulking enough that the door just gave up out.  The problem at this particular juncture, is that because our children are so effing hi-maintenance, there is NO room in the budget for home repairs.  My temporary solution was to hang a shower curtain up, which decreases the amount of mold build up for sure, because all the water now pools onto the floor!  (insert growl here)

4.  Our microwave broke (also 3 years old).  Thank you GE for making such a stellar product!  Oh, it can be fixed....for $175.  Or we can just buy a new one for $250.  Do you know how time consuming it is to warm everything on the damn stove?!?  Or reheat leftovers in the oven?!?  It's safe to say, I could never have been alive, or a mother, during the 1940's.  Or Prohibition.

5.  (I've saved the best worst for last here).  We had NO. INTERNET. for TWO. WHOLE. WEEKS!!  Yes, please take a moment to ponder this, reread the statement if you need to, and shed a tear,  or three.  I couldn't check Facebook, or email, OR vent on this blog.  It was my own personal horror movie!!!!!  (I should go all "positive outlook" here for a minute, and say - it did force allow me the time to actually interact with my kids all. day. long.)


So, for any of you who actually missed hearing my selfish, ego maniacal, here-to-make-you-feel-better-about-yourself rants, I'M BAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!


  1. I would die without internet for 2 weeks! So sorry. My daughter broker her arm when she was 14 months old, it SUCKED. I feel ya. Oh and if it makes you feel beter, not using your microwave is supposed to be better for you...using the microwave can give you cancer or something.

  2. not awesome. boooooo!! stupid life, gettin' in the way everything!