Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Holy mounds of crap !!

There is not an adjective in the English language, that could possibly describe the amount of $hit I walked into this morning, when going to get Little Girl from her room.  We're talking - all over her, the blankets, the crib rails, the walls, underneath the mattress (no explanation for that one), and finally, 'dripped' onto the floor.

That's right.  Dripped.  Like a leaky faucet.

It smelled as if things transpired hours before I actually went to get her.  For a moment I felt really bad that she was probably rolling around in her own feces for a good part of the night.  That fluttering emotion quickly vanished as I felt more sorry for myself and what it would entail to get this horrific scene cleaned up.

I'll spare you the details, as I'm certain many of you have had a similar experience.  However, I'm quite sure most of you don't experience this at least once a week.  I guess I'm just glad it happened in the privacy of our own home, and not out in public (a normal occurrence for us).  Or at the gym, while she's in the childcare (again, a normal occurrence.  I'm actually surprised they haven't asked us not to come back yet).

I mean, I literally have to carry around 2 changes of clothes, 6 diapers and a box of wipes everywhere we go.  I never know when the "blow-outs" will occur (usually shopping at Kohl's is a good inducer of gastric flow for her).  It's been 2 1/2 years and it's frustrating as hell.

I constantly smell poo.....(usually it ends up being stuck under my finger nails).

I'm tired of hearing "she's not potty trained yet??"  
No, asshole, she's not!  I actually enjoy wiping shit off someone else's ass 9 times a day, so I'm thinking we'll start when she's off to 1st grade.

November 7th can not get here soon enough.  This is the date of her upper and lower endoscopy (a reschedule from earlier this month).  Although we'll have to wait several days for results from the procedure, I know exactly what it will show - that the Eosinophilia is invading her little tummy again (insert sad face).  And God willing, this will be the worst thing it shows.

At least this will put her back on a course of treatment, and even though the treatment itself comes with it's own set of side effects, she'll feel some sort of relief.

And, hopefully I'll get a break from cleaning up *shit-plosions* for a while.


**author's side note:  It's days like today when I feel I need to start Happy Hour-ing early.  However, I'm on Day #3 of healthy eating & no wine drinking, and I'm proud to say, I have not succumbed to any cheating**


  1. First off, how frustrating!!! I, also, have come into a poop covered room..NOT FUN!!! I would've turned around, walked into the kitchen, taken a shot of cherry vodka (no matter how early) grabbed rubber gloves and gone back in. I will be praying that the only thing that is wrong is the Eosinophilia. My daughter has had below the belt issues since she was a baby also, and is not potty trained. She's 4. I literally laughed out loud when I read your "response" to someone who questions the idea that she's not potty trained..I feel like saying something very similar to that! I hope it gets better soon!

  2. Oh no! I'm so sorry you have to deal with this!I hope the doctors have a solution for you.