Friday, October 21, 2011

Top 10 Ways Being a Parent is like Being at a Frat Party

So, every once in a while, someone I know sends me something that makes me literally laugh so hard that I pee my pants (okay, so technically, that's not so hard these days).
I recently sent a funny list of "Top 10 Things You Should Never Say to the Spouse of a Deployed Soldier" to a friend of mine whose husband is currently serving in Iraq (she has 3 children under the age of 10). 
This is how she returned the favor.  I wish I knew who wrote this.  Anybody out there wanna take credit??  Seriously.  I can make you famous.  Okay, maybe not famous.  But, at least, 4 people will read it on this blog.
Top 10 Ways That Being A Parent Is Like Being at a Frat Party... 
10. There are half-full, brightly-colored plastic cups on the floor in every room. Three are in the bathtub. 
9. There's always that one girl, bawling her eyes out in a corner. 
8. It's best not to assume that the person closest to you has any control over their digestive function. 
7. You sneak off to the bathroom knowing that as soon as you sit down, someone's going to start banging on the door.
6. Probably 80% of the stains on the furniture contain DNA. 
5. You've got someone in your face at 3 a.m. looking for a drink. 
4. There's definitely going to be a fight. 
3. You're not sure whether anything you're doing is right, you just hope it won't get you arrested. 
2. There are crumpled-up underpants everywhere. 
1. You wake up wondering exactly how and when the person in bed with you got there.
Go ahead people.  Pee your pants.