Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Destination: White Padded Cell

Okay, so (not that I'm keeping count), toddler, just barely 2, had 8 stage 5 meltdowns in less than 24 hours (and 12 of those 24 hours were spent asleep).

She hates to be clothed.  Hates to be buckled into a car seat.  Hates the stroller.

My 5 year old can't shut up for longer than 30 seconds (and that's being generous).  He has no concept of volume control.  He has never met a stranger he won't carry on a ceaseless conversation with.

Neither of them travel well.  Period.  Or sleep.  Especially out of their own element.

Together, the 3 of us in a room, make each other somewhat homicidal.

So.....what sounds like a great idea??

Packing us all into an airplane for 6 hours with a bunch of strangers!!  And then, just for the added fun, let's throw in a time change from EST to PST, and see how many suicidal thoughts a human being can have!!

I actually start having panic attacks 2 weeks prior to traveling.  Anywhere.  And I'm not talking the self-diagnosed kind.  I mean the kind that actually require medicinal intervention.


Wasn't there a movie about this??  Or, maybe it was just a nightmare I had.

I'm strongly considering passing out Xanax to everyone in a 5 row vicinity of us. But, then again, misery loves company, right?

(Consider this a favor.  A WARNING.  Do not take ANY United Airlines flight from the east coast to the west coast, anytime in the next 3 weeks.  Trust me.  I'm quite certain even the flight staff will be terrorized for weeks after)

Did I mention this is training for my semi-cross-country-road-trip in June?  With both kids.  And me.  JUST me.

(Double Ugh)

Yes, people.  I own it.  I AM, infact, insane.


  1. Ugh! Air travel with children...the last time I did that I stared longingly at the People magazine reading, headphone wearing, early-20's girl right in front of me the whole time. She had NO idea how lucky she was!

    Was referred to your blog from Christina at Forever Your Girls...

    If you have a minute, check mine out too--we might be able to make each other laugh once in a while during this crazy journey we're on!

  2. Traveling can really SUCK with kids, and that is the truth of it. Funny to think, that we really only travel so we can get somewhere and DO something DIFFERENT for crying out loud, or even be around some family who can finally entertain our kids for us.

  3. I think I need Xanax just from reading about this. I don't know how you do it! Good luck!

  4. this is so funny - but so painfully so. Thanks for the chuckle - and I am so, so sorry about the travel angst. BUT, they do grow up - it will, I PROMISE YOU, get easier. Honest.

  5. I brought ear plugs to pass out the last time I flew with mine.

    And although it is completely frowned upon by the super-mommies (and plenty of medical professionals) bring an emergency bottle of Benedryl and if it appears that you may be strangled by your fellow passengers, don't be afraid to use it. It could save your life.

  6. Oh you brave, brave woman you! My fingers will be crossed for lots of sleep and movie watching just for y'all! Good luck!!