Wednesday, February 9, 2011

We're doomed

Do you have friends (or acquaintances) that you feel have "prodigal" children?? You know the ones I'm talking about....."oh, my 4 year old just learned to tie his shoes, drive a car, and cook us a 5-course meal, all in the same week!!" Meanwhile, I feel like SuperMOM if neither kid has swallowed a button or given themselves a new concussion over the course of a week. Their kids are reading Thoreau and e.e. cummings by the time they are 6, and my kids learned their ABC's from watching too much Sesame Street.

I strongly feel that Parents magazine does to a mom's ego, what the Victoria's Secret catalog does to a women's body image. I can't afford to buy my kids the 'top-rated' educational toys, or feed them the 'recommended' name brand snacks (never mind the fact that they won't touch anything with whole wheat or the color green in it), they DO watch more than 30 minutes of television a week, and I certainly have NO intention of taking my toddler's pacifier away by the time she is 2. And I refuse to believe they will need any more psycho-therapy (than their DNA has already pre-destined them for) because of these things.

I also, recently, happened to read an article I saw reference to on another blog I follow (CafeMom). Apparently, there was a study done in New Zealand on toddlers (see link below) that indicates which ones could turn out to be future criminals. So, now I've glued myself to this article to see if we should stop singing the Wiggles, and start singing Jailhouse Rock!

It states, if you have a child under 3 who elicits bad behavior, such as "low frustration tolerance, lacks persistence in reaching goals, difficulty sticking with a task, overactive, acts before thinking, has difficulty waiting turn, restless, not conscientious".....they are destined to be the next Charles Manson!!

So, not only are my children inadequate in comparison to the little Einsteins of the world, they are also poorly fed, not educated enough by their toys, and are at high risk for doing hard time.

Lord have mercy..... I'm gonna need some more wine and a good psychiatrist!

1 comment:

  1. Totally feel ya, girl. (Sarcastic giggle) My post tomorrow is on this very same subject. I just specified in my will that part of their trust fund must be spent on therapy. Since I wasn't willing to shell out the dough while I was living...

    Oh, who am I kidding, those kids don't have a trust fund! That would be much too adequate parenting practice!